Friday night

Hello friends.
Wow, its Friday night again and its good to have the weekend ahead. I am planning to be busy busy with chores. I live in chaos with piles of junk everywhere so I am on a mission to declutter and get rid of a load of stuff. So good luck me! I am also getting my hair cut; I am looking a right beatnik at the mo.

And of course I want to spend some quality time with my doggies. My camcorder is on charge; there are so many idiosynchracies of my beloved doggies that I want to capture so I won't forget. Like when I go out to the yard and they both try and get out of the dog flap at the same time and it ends up with both their heads poking through the door.

Ben is still pissing blood. He isn't in pain, which leads the vet to think his problem is in his kidneys. He has been referred to the doggie hospital (attached to Liverpool University) but we are having to wait until Wednesday morning. I just want to get him sorted but must be patient. He is still eating but has been vomiting. Mrs K and I are not daft and have resigned ourselves to the fact that he must have pathology in at least one of his kidneys. We are just praying that it is only one of his kidneys and not both. As a kid our family dog died of kidney failure. But Meggsie was really ill and Ben hasn't got those symptoms. Actually whilst he is tired, he is still interacting well with us and eating. He also has control of his bladder.

Holly bless her is a bit oblivious. Actually we think she is a bit senile these days; bless her.

Work was a real bitch the other week. I got really angry over something and carried it over into last weekend. What I mean is, when I am angry I get like a knot in my shoulder muscle which is dead painful. Basically I buried myself under the duvet cover then. This week was better and actually a senior guy told me how much he respected me for standing up for what I believed in the previous week. So that was OK. But come the end of this week, all had passed and I had a good day as I caught up with all my email and actions and other shit that has to be done but is never quite top priority.

And it never rains but pours when things stop working. I asked Mrs K what she would prefer for Christmas - a tangerine or an orange? The main PC bust. Then Mrs K's wheelchair. then the garage door. And Ben's hospital want a £750 deposit (oh I wish we had pet insurance!)
So I have put us on an economy drive! Actually we a damn lucky; been watching Children in Need tonight. (probably only means something to UK readers.)

Anyway folks, I will sign off now and come visit your blogs. I haven't read anything for a while so I cant wait to hear your news.....

My teenage Years (yawn, yawn, yawn)

Mmm, my teenage years.

I have decided to define my teenage years as starting from 11, because going to 'big' school at 11 seemed to mark a change in my life. I think because the school - a Catholic all girls convent - was a 30 minute train journey away from home and no-one from my junior school was going to this one.

The first year was OK. I remember I made friends with a girl who travelled the same train journey and I remember I spent a couple of weekends of the year on sleep-overs at her home. I am not sure why it fizzled out. But in my mind I do remember on one occasion I was ill and vomited all over her bedroom. I felt bad about that. We used to go swimming at the local pool. I have fond memories of plucking up the courage of going to the dive pool and jumping off the 10 meter tall dive platform. I can't dive, just dive bombed it. Ouch!

After the first year we were tested and placed into one of four 'sets' based upon our results in maths, English, French and science. I was top 5% in maths and science but my English and French were below average, so I ended up in the second set. My friend was in the bottom set. Maybe this was why we drifted apart? Or was it the vomit! My parents were angry I was not in the top set and went up the school to complain. I was non plussed. I hated French.

I guess from then on in my school life was non descript. I didn't have a best friend. I cant really remember who I hung around with. Actually in the third year (age 14ish) we had a temporary teacher in for physics. Mrs Hungate; straight out of the 60's in physical appearance. She was crap and couldn't control the class. A fraction bullied her. I put up with it for about a couple of months before I went to the head teacher and grassed up the trouble makers. The head teacher came into her next class and punished the bullies. That didn't make me particularly popular - because i didn't deny I was the grass - with my fellow school kids nor the teacher (I hadn't figured out the teacher would be hacked off with me too.) I am my own person and I didn't particularly care though.

Early teens I liked my sport. At junior school I represented the school at every sport. High school I only did rounders. I was 2nd deep cos I was a long thrower and good catcher. I also fenced. At school I found it a bit too regimented but I went to another club which really improved me. I stuck with fencing until about 15. I have got some fencing medals and I wasn't too bad. At one point I was going to weekend competitions all over the country. But my parents were too busy with their 'religious' commitments to take me and went with another fencers family. I remember Mrs Dommett buying me a t-shirt one weekend away, with a picture of a fencer silhouetted on the front. I felt embarrassed as I am no charity case. I wonder if that was the catalyst for me to chuck it in.

I did good at my O'levels at 16 with 7 A's, a B and 2 C's (in English language and chemistry.) They were easy, you just had to learn the text book to get a good grade. It was compulsory at school to do English Literature (for which I got a grade A.) I find it ironic that I wouldn't have chosen such a subject in a million years, but I am grateful for the education. My English teacher, I forget her name, was fantastic to enchant someone like me in such a subject. I am grateful that I had to read poetry. I studied first world war poetry and Alfred Owen in particularly. And to read King Lear. Without googling I can even remember several stock quotes I incorporated into my essay..
King Lear.. "And Cordelia, what can you do to draw a third more opulent than your sister" or
King Lear.. "hail winds, crack your whips"

And we read "the Moon is Down" by John Steinbeck..."The fly has conqueored the flypaper"

And I read "Brave New World" by Aldous Huxley and Arthur Millers "the Crucible" without this compulsory subject I would have never had this experience in my life. I don't read such cultured books today.

Home life was non-descript. My parents got into a religious group and were away a lot and I was left in the care of my sister. I remember I used to spend most Saturdays lying on the couch watching the matinee films on BBC2. I have probably seen most black and White war films. And Lassies. And Elvis Presley films.

I guess a milestone of my teenage years was summer 1984. I had taken my O level exams and the summer was a long one. I was tired constantly. My period stopped. I ended up going to the doctors in the October. After loads of hospital tests I was diagnosed with Crohns Disease. I have written about it previously here.

So I remember my late teens as one of tiredness brought on by my Crohns. I had wanted to leave school at 16 and join the Police Cadets. I failed the fitness test. So I sat my A levels. I enjoyed my maths but not Computer Science nor Geography. i hung around with a couple of people who did the same subjects. The friendships didn't last beyond sixth form. But I did have people that I went out with to explore this period of my life with. To get drunk. I remember I went through a period where we would down in one pint the strongest beer available. Flavour wasnt of importance. Just to get pissed. I joined the Ballroom Dancing club (my girls school joined up with the local all boys school) and I met my first boyfriend Steve. He modelled himself on the Blues Brothers. I had some fun times with him. And we went to a lot of parties.

At 18 I didn't want to go to university. So I got a job working for a merchant bank. This is when I started smoking. Within six months I decided I didn't like work (!!!!) and put an application in for university.

At 19 I went to Exeter university to study Maths. It is unpopular to admit but I hated my time at university. I couldn't find my boundaries. I did go off the rails abit. I remember I would get pissed then walk the railway lines. Or walk the outside of bridges of the canal. One of my friends died - my first experience of death - and I spent a period sleeping at night at the local graveyard. But that takes me out of my teens so not for this post. Ha!

I have just written this post and think what a boring sod I am.
Tony, I wrote about my teenage years so I guess you owe me a post on yours. I bet your teenage years were full of adventure and dare devil stuff... sex, drugs and rock 'n roll.
I look forward to reading your post.

Henry the eight I am I am

My Great Grandfather x22 appears to be Henry III, King Of England.

They say if you trace your ancestry far enough back then you find royal blood.

No need to courtsey, hehehee.

Lazt Saturday

And the doggies joined it too...
These were taken today.
Ben curled into a tight ball on the beanie...

And Holly resting on my leg - (isnt this a great picture)


I love my doggies sooooooooo much....
(Please Ben get well)

My boy loves playing this game

I took this picture of Ben tonight. Whenever I get up out of bed, he sneaks into my place. Then he watches me when I return (as you can see from the photo.) It is a game he plays with me. I always move him into the centre of the bed.

I love the way his paws are crossed in the photo. And his eyes watching me.

Seriously unimpressed

And still worried about my boy.

The vet rang tonight; well a locum vet. Ben's blood results have come back and they are all clear. She said that if Ben had an infection then you would expect his white blood cells to be up.

Mrs K then questioned further. It transpired that on monday he was x-rayed, not ultra-sounded (which would normally be the protocol for a bladder.) Apparently they didnt use a contrast dye, but rather blew air into the bladder before the x-ray; an old fashioned technique used pre ultrasound technology.

So it seems we cant rule out a tumour or stones just yet.

The culture results come back friday. If no infection he has to go back to the animal hospital for an ultra-sound.

Bloody unimpressed; the poor boy having to go through another anestethic.

And worried about what is wrong.

Not sure if he is still peeing blood.....will check tomorrow.

Ben is still unwell

Despite the course of anti-biotics Ben is still peeing quite a bit of blood. We took him to the vets again this morning and he has to return tomorrow to be sedated for an x-ray, then possible operation. It is one of 3 things:

1. Nasty bacterial infection resistant to the anti-biotic first given.

2. Bladder stones (which will have to be cut out.)

3. Tumour (which the vet said could be partially cut out.)

Lets hope for the first option; I cant bear anything happening to my boy. I love him so much.

Trying to decide

on something.

I am not going to tell you what, but I want a vote. It is in the lap of the Gods.
Or more precisely, in your lap.

So guys, up for it? do you dare?

I would like your answer to an invisible question.

Please vote YES or NO in comments...

I take the cut-off decision in 24 hrs.
xx.

(and hint: dont try and double guess me; I take prudent precautions in my phrasing to ensure an unbiased answer.)

Ben likes his snuggles...

Poor Ben hasn't been well. I noticed by chance last week that he was pissing blood - quite a bit - and the vet thinks it is from the stress of Kennels (when we went to Ukraine the other week) that caused him to pick up an infection. He is doing much better now, though feeling sorry fo himself... This picture was taken today, he moved the pillow from the top of the bed in the sapre room, to the bottom so that he could lie on it! This was last week when he snuggled in between pillows...

And Random Reflections, I got fudge to model the Ukrainian Beret for you to see.

Dream the dream

Sorry guys, not been feeling very well, got a virus (hope not the the dreaded lurgy!) and hence been lying low. I will be out and about in blogland in a few days to catch up on all your good folks writings. I miss you.
The title for this post is meant for a blog I have been wanting to write, but just not the energy yet - I thought I would use it here so I can hold onto it.

xx.

Dnepropetrovsk

Mrs K and I went to Ukraine (note no "The" preceding Ukraine, otherwise it would be like saying "The England") this weekend for 43 hours(!) to see Ukraine play England (footie match.)

Here at some pictures. Dnepropetrovsk, or Dnipro for short, is a heavily industrialised city and obviously very poor.

This was the norm...

The city centre (with a bus in the foreground)


Tram and cigarette booth


Ukrainians singing their national anthem at the start of the football match...


A fire-engine ready for the football match. At the time I wondered why it was there; then the match kicked off and I realised why.

We were seated in the Ukrainian end and it was a little scary!

Sorry I haven't been replying to your comments in previous posts. I will catch-up later this week. I seem to have lost my blogging focus.

Oh and I purchased my obligatory eastern european hat, this time a beret. It was funny - the police were selling their own hats to make a bit of money!

Risk Adverse?

Many (many) years ago when I first started working, I did work for a small company of c. 20 employees. I didn't like it and as such have concluded working for a small company is not for me. I guess everyone knew too much about each other for my liking, and I like to keep work separate from home life.

I also worked for a period in the public sector - the health service. I enjoyed it in that I felt at least I was contributing to the greater good, but the pay was poor. Honestly, I work for money and the pay was just too poor, and not linked to performance, rather set pay scales. I also disliked the fact that I had to join the union and the whole thing about having to go on strike because the union said so; well, I just didn't like. Strike, or get sent to "coventry" (which means everybody stops talking to you.)

I have been with my current employer for 13 years in January 2010 (unlucky 13?)

The company I joined had c. 1200 employees and I must say I have enjoyed working for this company - a private sector company. Five years ago it got purchased by one of the largest private sector companies in the UK, so I guess I moved from a medium sized company to a large one. I must say, I struggle to sign up to being the "Corporate Girl." Don't get me wrong, I work hard and do my job well. It's just the voice in my head has become rather cynical. The employees of this company in general love it. I was on a course last week and I heard several others say "I don't want to work for anyone else." All the voice in my head said was "yes, that's why they take advantage of you."

Yes, the Big Company pays on average 20% less, so my pay is higher than the average in the corporation. Over time all my benefits are being eroded.
The cynicism I have is also shared by a few others who also have the long service.

The Big Company are looking to align functions across all the smaller companies that they have bought up over the last number of years. I know they are going to ask me to work in London at some time, sooner rather than later, and probably in 2010. Now on my current contract I have a clause that I could reasonably refuse to move. So then they would have to make me redundant and with 13 years service, well I wouldn't have to get another job for a year.

Mrs K wouldn't want me to take redundancy I think. I am dreaming of it in my mind. I see it as an opportunity - albeit scary - that would kick my ass into changing my life. I feel such a responsibility to provide for my family, so Mrs K saying the other day a negative thought about me taking redundancy has upset me a bit.

Anyway a decision isn't immediately imminent, but maybe one for in a few months time.

And my decision will come down to the Risk appetite of me and Mrs K. I have become too predictable and safe. I don't want this responsibility any more. I want to be bold and strike out, but I have thought that for two years now and done nothing.

(Oh and I will get round to the Ermine and Daisy update later on in the week.)

Ermine and Daisy march on...

I told the tale of Ermine and Daisy several years ago...

If you are interested remind yourself of the story (though I think Lynn, you are only the blogger that has continued to follow my blog since then!) or indeed read it for the first time...

I will update the story this weekend.

A lazy List

1. I was thinking, I am really glad that I was made to do English Literature O-Level at school. I had to read such books as "King Lear" (Shakespear), "The Moon is Down" (John Steinbeck), "Brave New World" (Aldous Huxley), "The Crucible" (Arthur Miller) which I would have never read otherwise. It added a mitre of culture into my life!

2. It is only as I get older that I seem to appreciate history (which I hated at school.) I am enjoying watching "The Tudors" at the moment. Henry VIII is just about to meet Ann of Cleves, who was number 4, which from the rhyme "Divorced, Beheaded, Died. Divorced, Beheaded, Survived" you can work out her fate.

3. Remember this? Well after removing the ticket, I go back to the supermarket - Tesco's - last night and the "offer" is back off. I saw my arse and sent the picture to my local Trading Standards Office. I am sure they will ignore my email!

4. Watch the youtube video here. - It really made me laugh out loud.

5. Ben and Holly are both well, though rather smelly at the moment! I think it's going to be bath weekend!